Like many before me and after me that are tried and trying to conceive (TTC), at some point, read and write countess of TTC stories/blogs. They shared their experience, their struggle, their tears, their optimism, their motivation, and most importantly their joy. I find those posts helped me a lot in my own journey, ease my worries, and gives me strength that I'm not alone in this. As such now I felt a strong urge to share mine as well and hope it'll help others to continue and never give up on one day holding that little bundle of joy in your arms. Do note that all events in this writing are spanning many years and you can read them in one post. I try to make it as detailed while as simple as possible, :-).
So, here goes...
So, here goes...
After almost a year of marriage, we decided to get a fertility assessment to see if something was wrong. Turns out, both of us were normal and the doctor write our case initially as 'unexplained'. The pain of underwent HSG was still fresh in my mind. (T-T)....
So for a few months, we kept trying to get pregnant normally before finally decided to do our first IUI, then second with still no BFP that we're waiting for. The scan (TVS) detected that it turns out I have bilateral endometrioma (chocolate cyst) with possible endometriosis and a retroverted uterus. I have no symptoms, no pain from the condition and my period came every month, Alhamdulillah. However, this still came as a shock to both me and my husband. We have tried numerous supplements, multiple Mak Bidan we have seen for fertility massage, we tried Fur**n, Fert** oil, Y&Z, Goat's milk, Biod*x, BZ, HBL the list goes on and on.
My sister-in-law who got married later than me, already pregnant with her first child. Tipulah, if I say I didn't got jealous....They got pregnant without even trying. Thoughts like, is something wrong with my body?, have I done something wrong, is my body has defect crossed my mind multiple times. Despite of that, I'm lucky to have a mother who always reminded me, 'perancangan Allah itu paling baik untuk kita, pasti ada hikmahnya, teruskan berdoa'...and MIL who always encouraged me that my time will come soon. Their advises gave me courage and strength to continue on. So, we take a breather and I focused on getting a Master degree and making myself busy.
In early 2017, we finally decided to go for IVF. My doctor first prescribed me with Lucrin for one cycle to control the endo. In the meantime, I also took GLA complex, Vitamin B complex, Propolis, Royal Jelly, Fish oil, Folic acid, and castor oil pack. My period didn't come until mid-April and we still didn't do anything until July because I need to finish up my lab work and thesis, plus with Ramadhan coming in June.
We started ovarian stimulation after Raya holidays for about 10 days. Ten long days of self-injecting followed by oocytes/egg retrieval. Our embryo transfer was performed the next three days and afterward a waiting game for two long weeks (2ww). We learned something from the 2ww, if you got Hcg booster every three days (pregnyl, ovidrel etc), do not tested for home pregnancy test (Hcg) until at least a week after your last dose. Why?, because regardless you're pregnant or not, it will always be positive. The Hcg booster will take at least a week or more to completely rid of your body. Our first attempt was unsuccessful, after some crying and mood swinging for a few days, we were back to our optimism to try again.
In Sept 2017, I underwent laparoscopic surgery for my endometrioma. My doctor categorized me as stage 3 endometriosis and removed 5 cm chocolate cyst from my ovary. Then in Nov, we transferred two frozen embryos from our previous IVF and waiting game again for another two weeks, sadly takde rezeki lagi.(T-T)
My second IVF in June 2018 resulted in the same. This time we tried endometrial scratching and transferring frozen embryos. We changed the medication this time from Menapur to Gonal F. After two failed IVFs, we decided to rest and start again when we're ready. In the meantime, we try for a more holistic approach. Instead of focusing on to get pregnant, I focus more on healing my body, my womb, my tubes, get some exercise and most importantly, doa, doa, doa. My husband and I even went for a trip to Sabah. Hopefully someday, we'll get to be there again with our babies. :-)
Anyway, in Mac 2019, we were ready to try another round of IVF (our 3rd one). 3 months prior, my doctor prescribed Vitamin D as its turn out I was extremely Vitamin D deficient (I think, that will happen a lot if you spend most of your time indoor these days). He said from his experience, Vitamin D3 did help to increase egg quality in some women, so why not we try. The drug this time was Puregon and the protocol was the same. Number of eggs retrieved were almost the same with my previous IVFs, but the quality of the embryos were definitely improved. We transferred fresh and two weeks later blood test showed possibilities of successful implantation. Kami taknak excited sangat, I'm being very stilled and very reserved, haha. Finally, 6 weeks later we heard the tiny heartbeat on our 1st ultrasound. Tiny but strong little baby. Its official guys, we're pregnant!!. Alhamdulillah. Berkat doa dan kesabaran from everyone around us, both my parent and parent-in-law. Fast forward 2022, my dear daughter is now almost three years old and we are ready to transfer the remaining Embabies.
We started ovarian stimulation after Raya holidays for about 10 days. Ten long days of self-injecting followed by oocytes/egg retrieval. Our embryo transfer was performed the next three days and afterward a waiting game for two long weeks (2ww). We learned something from the 2ww, if you got Hcg booster every three days (pregnyl, ovidrel etc), do not tested for home pregnancy test (Hcg) until at least a week after your last dose. Why?, because regardless you're pregnant or not, it will always be positive. The Hcg booster will take at least a week or more to completely rid of your body. Our first attempt was unsuccessful, after some crying and mood swinging for a few days, we were back to our optimism to try again.
In Sept 2017, I underwent laparoscopic surgery for my endometrioma. My doctor categorized me as stage 3 endometriosis and removed 5 cm chocolate cyst from my ovary. Then in Nov, we transferred two frozen embryos from our previous IVF and waiting game again for another two weeks, sadly takde rezeki lagi.(T-T)
My second IVF in June 2018 resulted in the same. This time we tried endometrial scratching and transferring frozen embryos. We changed the medication this time from Menapur to Gonal F. After two failed IVFs, we decided to rest and start again when we're ready. In the meantime, we try for a more holistic approach. Instead of focusing on to get pregnant, I focus more on healing my body, my womb, my tubes, get some exercise and most importantly, doa, doa, doa. My husband and I even went for a trip to Sabah. Hopefully someday, we'll get to be there again with our babies. :-)
Anyway, in Mac 2019, we were ready to try another round of IVF (our 3rd one). 3 months prior, my doctor prescribed Vitamin D as its turn out I was extremely Vitamin D deficient (I think, that will happen a lot if you spend most of your time indoor these days). He said from his experience, Vitamin D3 did help to increase egg quality in some women, so why not we try. The drug this time was Puregon and the protocol was the same. Number of eggs retrieved were almost the same with my previous IVFs, but the quality of the embryos were definitely improved. We transferred fresh and two weeks later blood test showed possibilities of successful implantation. Kami taknak excited sangat, I'm being very stilled and very reserved, haha. Finally, 6 weeks later we heard the tiny heartbeat on our 1st ultrasound. Tiny but strong little baby. Its official guys, we're pregnant!!. Alhamdulillah. Berkat doa dan kesabaran from everyone around us, both my parent and parent-in-law. Fast forward 2022, my dear daughter is now almost three years old and we are ready to transfer the remaining Embabies.
Disclaimer:
This is my experience, what works for me may not work for you and via versa. When starting treatment, I will always stop all supplements currently consumed, unless allowed by my doctor. Stress is your enemy and staying optimistic accompanied by prayer is your friend. InsyaAllah.
